Many People Who Stutter (PWS) are able to hide their stuttering by using a host of secondary behaviors like avoiding certain words, using fillers, etc. This is often deemed “successful” as the listener stays unaware of the fact that the speaker stutters. You would be surprised to know how many PWS are able to go through the majority of their lives without letting their friends, family or colleagues know that they stutter.
While the listener may not be privy to the fact that the speaker stutters, the speaker’s mental real estate is very much occupied with stuttering at all times. Hiding or “masking” stuttering requires a lot of mental energy and could be exhausting. The speaker does a lot of mental gymnastics, jumping through various hoops to avoid stuttering—cycling through synonyms and similar phrases, using fillers or avoiding a situation altogether. The Stuttering Iceberg metaphor 1 is a great way to visualize this. What the listener sees/listens to is just the tip of the iceberg. But the speaker is battling a lot of internal struggles that are hidden below the surface.
Not only is this be very taxing for the speaker, but it also brings us to the topic of complying with unfair societal norms (talked about here). Additionally, it perpetuates the stigma around stuttering and reinforces the idea that stuttering is something to be ashamed of. If you look at the other side of the coin, stuttering openly is not only a powerful act of self-acceptance, but it also helps to normalize stuttering and reduce stigma. By being open about stuttering, PWS can help to create a more inclusive and accepting society for everyone. Every stutter that you let out in the world is a form of advocacy and a step towards acceptance.